The Butterfly Baby
by Ffeona 'sarcasm-is-my-drug
Summary: GSR angst fic. It's season seven and Grissom is leaving on a six month sabbatical. Sara's is hurt and they end up seperated for a much longer time. What happens when a murder case involving a fifteen year old girl brings them back together?
1. Leaving

**The Butterfly Baby**

Pairing: GSR (Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle)

Disclaimer: no you dolts I don't own CSI stop asking. I do own little Joey though so HA! And I'm not sharing. That'll teach you; CBS.

Warnings: you know, references to violence and stuff, maybe some angst (yey!!!) and a little bit of bad language. Not much at all.

Spoilers: I screwed with the time line. Sorry. Basically spoilers for season seven. For when Grissom leaves to go on sabbatical which if you didn't know before you do now!

Plot: it's still a secret. Sara left during Grissom's sabbatical which I changed to six months not four weeks. Sara was pregnant. Um… a few years later a case brings the team and Sara back together. Yey.

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_**Prologue1**_

They are in a staff meeting when it happens. Grissom has just paired everyone off; Catherine and Greg on a kidnapping, Nick and Sara working on a murder of a prostitute, Sofia with Warrick on an on-going case, and Grissom with the newbie Tess Simons who would be handling a mundane robbery gone bad, one injured, one escaped. No one knows why Tess is here exactly, they have enough team members on staff and can always call on the swing shifters to help out if needs be. But she is here and she is needed; or so they are about to find out.

"I'm taking a six months sabbatical, it starts tomorrow. I'll be teaching at a university while I'm gone. Catherine, you'll be the acting Supervisor for grave shift, and you can all continue as normal. It's only six months. Now, you've all got your assignments so get busy." He looked at them expectantly. They looked right back. Sofia was the first to leave, Warrick had no choice but to follow. Catherine, sat in shock, was brought back to reality by Greg who softly maneuvered them in the hallway. Tess, who looked extremely nervous, asked to go to the Ladies to which Grissom replied with raised eye brows 'always just so long as it doesn't involve contaminating the evidence'. She left pretty quickly after that with a confused and worried expression. Sara would have laughed and scolded Gil for being so mean to her if it had been any other day. Unfortunately for all three of them it was the most important day of her life; and it was ruined.

Sara turned to Nick. "You go talk to the victim's mother I'll meet you at the crime scene. Remember to save me some evidence!" she called as he walked away. "You told us in a staff meeting?"

"Yes." Grissom answered.

"You should have said something sooner, and more personally. If not to each of us then at least to Catherine! She's had such a shock and you couldn't even bring yourself to tell her about her temporary promotion before you blurted it out in front of the whole team?" Sara ranted on, still using her rational but slightly indignant tone.

"I thought it best to kill seven birds with one stone, so to speak."

"Really, you thought that was 'best'?" Sara questioned disbelievingly.

"Sara, why don't you say what your real problem is. You aren't angry because I didn't tell Catherine." Grissom said reasonably.

Sara bit her lip and looked up visibly trying to control her anger. She hated it when he was the cold, calm, collected voice of rationality and she ended up sounding like some sort of hysterical housewife. "No. You're right. I'm furious because you did that to Catherine… and because you did this to me. Did it even occur to you to talk to me about it first?"

"No." he answered truthfully.

"No. Of course not, because it never does! I'm supposed to be your girlfriend, your lover. Equality in relationships, right? But so far you've decided everything! From when we met again, to how often you see me during the week, to when I was emotionally ready to have a relationship, that it had to be kept a secret, you decided when we became lovers and now you've decided to leave me for six months without any prior warning. I once told you I wanted to leave the crime lab here in Las Vegas because you didn't respect me. I was only your employee then, now I'm your romantic partner and you still don't respect me. Without respect you can't have a relationship. Not a healthy one."

"What do you want me to say." Grissom asked.

Sara knew the answer to that one too. "I want you to have talked to me about your life. Instead you go behind my back and do this and then tell me in front of everyone so I can't ask you to stay or anything. But don't worry, Grissom, I'm not going to ask you to stay. But when you come back I'm going to need some respect and I don't mean as your lover. I can't be in this relationship. I'm sorry."

"All this because I didn't tell you I was leaving first?" he asked, incredulous.

Sara stands up and stares at him. Flashbacks of years ago running in her head. She's had enough, he can see it in her eyes. She walks out, spotting timid Tess hovering by the door pale as a sheet having heard everything.

"I wasn't eavesdropping, I just came back and-"

"Stand up to him, won't you?" Sara interrupted, feeling lightheaded but determined. Te girl nodded convincingly and Sara went to go meet Nick.

It was the last time she would see Grissom for five years.

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Note to readers; PLEASE COMMENT. Sorry for any out-of-character-ness you experienced, this is my first and I'm nervous. I'm sort of taking the season four Grissom and Sara and putting them in season seven because I'm an angst queen. Don't worry I'm GSR all the way.


	2. Five Months Later

**The Butterfly Baby**

Pairing: GSR (Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle)

Disclaimer: no you dolts I don't own CSI stop asking. I do own little Joey though so HA! And I'm not sharing. That'll teach you; CBS.

Warnings: you know, references to violence and stuff, maybe some angst (yey!!!) and a little bit of bad language. Not much at all.

Spoilers: I screwed with the time line. Sorry. Basically spoilers for season seven. For when Grissom leaves to go on sabbatical which if you didn't know before you do now!

Plot: it's still a secret. Sara left during Grissom's sabbatical which I changed to six months not four weeks. Sara was pregnant. Um… a few years later a case brings the team and Sara back together. Yey.

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_**Prologue2 'five months later'**_

"Sara are you sure about this?" Catherine said looking at the resignation in front of her.

"Yes. Catherine I'm just not as dedicated to the job anymore. I need something else in my life. And I think I've found it. And I realized that I can't have both so I'm choosing the other option." Sara explained badly.

Catherine looked her straight in her eyes. "You're having a baby aren't you?"

Sara started crying. Damn hormones! "Yeah."

Catherine jumped up from her desk. "Congratulations, honey." She embraced the mother-to-be. When Sara had calmed down she leant back. "So this isn't about Grissom then. I'll expect you to work your notice out but then you can go. Just keep in contact yeah. I think I've still got some of Lindsay's baby clothes… hidden away somewhere. Who's the father?"

"Um, the father won't be a factor."

"Oh."

"Yeah 'oh' just about sums it up. Look, I made a series of bad moves and came out on the winning side. I'm determined to make the right move now for my baby. Can you not tell Grissom? I've put it down as 'change of vocation' and I want him to think that. I just wouldn't like him to be disappointed in me; you know he thinks working in the Crime Lab is the most important thing in the world." Yeah, right! Sara was definitely not worried about Grissom being disappointed in her. However she was eager to avoid him after their confrontation. The day Grissom had announced he was leaving had been the day Sara discovered she was pregnant. She'd planned to tell him after they slept after that shift but when he broke the news that he'd be leaving then… she couldn't have her child grow up with its mother in an unhealthy relationship. It wasn't fair.

"Okay. Does anyone else know?"

"Greg." Sara said with a smile on her face. She'd always run to Greg in times of need ever since she realized Grissom couldn't always help her out. He was closer to her own age and position in the team, an outsider among friends and she rejoiced in the immature side of him. Grissom wasn't overly immature. Part of why she loved him.

"He's not the father. And don't bother quizzing him about it." Because he'll never tell!

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At the leaving party which is held two nights before Grissom's return, Sara smiles and laughs and drinks apple juice while her friends are toasting her with champagne. She hugs Nick and Greg, even Warrick! Catherine drives her home later and Greg helps her move in the morning, she's been helping her pack all week. She's big now, not huge just pregnant; Greg assures her. He knows she'll keep in touch with him and hopes she keeps in touch with the others. They'll miss her.

AN: please comment. I'm a comment junkie. And I've got more to write. Next chapter is Grissom returns. Then the Case which brings Sara and mini-entomologist Joanne Sidle into the CSI's lives again.


	3. Grissom Returns

**The Butterfly Baby**

Pairing: GSR (Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle)

Disclaimer: no you dolts I don't own CSI stop asking. I do own little Joey though so HA! And I'm not sharing. That'll teach you; CBS.

Warnings: you know, references to violence and stuff, maybe some angst (yey!!!) and a little bit of bad language. Not much at all.

Spoilers: I screwed with the time line. Sorry. Basically spoilers for season seven. For when Grissom leaves to go on sabbatical which if you didn't know before you do now!

Plot: it's still a secret. Sara left during Grissom's sabbatical which I changed to six months not four weeks. Sara was pregnant. Um… a few years later a case brings the team and Sara back together. Yey.

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**THANK YOU**

'_grissom4_' you don't have to wait long for the next chapter because here it is. And thank you for commenting, I really appreciate it!

_Qadoshadonai _ thank you for comforting me I was worried. And I'll be updating irregularly and I apologize. I work and go to school and have limited access to computers but I will update. Thank you!

_CSIGeekFan_ I got you hooked? Aww I'm really touched and very glad. So I updated so you can get your next fix!  thanks

_CSIDelovt_ Angst rocks! I love angst too (all my stories contain it except two which are comical). I actually hate fluff but that's just me! Thank you so much and you needn't wait cos here is the update!

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Prologue3; Grissom's return.

Grissom walked down the corridors of the crime lab in Las Vegas reflecting that it looked the same. But it didn't feel the same. Something was off. He went straight to his office where everything was in mint condition. Catherine waltzed in a few minutes later.

"You're back!"

"Yes." He agreed. Catherine smiled.

"Well its not a minute too soon. We could have done with you being here for the last two nights, we've been swamped!" she said and then he realized she was holding a box full of paperwork which she then placed on his desk; "I didn't like your job. And I'm sure you do it much better than me."

Grissom frowned and lifted an eyebrow. "Why have you been swamped? I left you with sufficient staff."

"Yeah but with Sara gone it wasn't enough. I never realized how much leg work the girl did for this team until she left. She must have spent all her time working." Catherine said wistfully: she did miss the girl even if they hadn't always been on such good terms.

"Yes often did. What do you mean she's gone? Did she take a holiday because if so it was a bad decision for you to allow her to." Grissom stated.

Catherine gasped and her hand moved to cover her mouth. "I forgot that you don't know! Sara's resigned, Gil. She's taken up a teaching position at a college. We had her leaving party two days ago."

Grissom opened his mouth but shock had frozen his vocal cords. Slowly he moved to a seat. "She reigned? To teach?"

"That's what she said." Catherine lied but Grissom was in no state to call her on it even if he had noticed.

"Did you question her about it?" he asked sharply.

"She was set on the idea, Gil. I had to let her go and Ecklie had already approved it."

"He would. He's been waiting for an opportunity to get rid of Sara for three years."

"Gil. He wasn't getting rid of Sara. She wanted to go. She did not want to work here anymore. She couldn't imagine anything worse than staying." Catherine was trying to get the point over; little did she know that with every word she was driving shards of diamonds into Grissom's bleeding heart and pouring salt into the open wound. One thought was reverberating in his skull as Catherine set about up-dating him on their latest cases and developments.

_I never should have left her._

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AN

What do you think? I'm going to write a really short chapter next which skims over the next five years and then Chapter One will arrive.


	4. Without You

Pairing: GSR (Gil Grissom and Sara Sidle)

Disclaimer: no you dolts I don't own CSI stop asking. I do own little Joey though so HA! And I'm not sharing. That'll teach you; CBS.

Warnings: you know, references to violence and stuff, maybe some angst (yey!!!) and a little bit of bad language. Not much at all.

Spoilers: I screwed with the time line. Sorry. Basically spoilers for season seven. For when Grissom leaves to go on sabbatical which if you didn't know before you do now!

Plot: it's still a secret. Sara left during Grissom's sabbatical which I changed to six months not four weeks. Sara was pregnant. Um… a few years later a case brings the team and Sara back together. Yey.

**Prologue 4 : Five Years of my Life... without you**

Sara had the baby eights months into her pregnancy. It was tough on her and luckily it was during the first few days of the summer holidays so she could rest and recuperate without having to worry about going to work. Best of all she could spend time with her baby. It was a girl, called Charlotte Sidle after Grissom's mother (AN: i have no idea what Grissom's mother was called so I made it up!), because she had been a strong intelligent woman and since Sara could not give her daughter legitimacy or a father she would give her a family history that she wouldn't have to be ashamed of.

Soon she began teaching and found she enjoyed the job more than she thought she would. More holiday, regular hours, better pay, less pressure. And she enjoyed the students, they were so bright and eager. All her co-workers for the previous five plus years had been jaded and hardened, all except Greg. She kept in contact with Greg and also with Catherine who had turned out to be a better friend than co-worker. Catherine had traveled to London, where Sara had made her home, twice to see her goddaughter and Sara had been to Las Vegas roughly seven times over the five years. Plus web cam, e-mails, letters, shared photographs, and plenty of long-distance phone calls meant Sara was pretty up to date on what was going on in Las Vegas even though she was hundreds of miles away. Still, at first it had been lonely, especially pregnant and surrounded by a different culture.

But she had survived and now she was only stronger. Even when she heard news of Grissom, the occasional date he had been on and the few traumatic cases he had solved or not solved.

Sara dated a few different people, an Australian Applied Art lecturer, an ex-student who had taken Law, a psychology guest lecturer, and an American banker but no one had had anything she'd thought of as interesting enough to keep the relationship going. The longest she'd lasted had been with the ex-student who'd been visiting the university to share his success story with prospective students, he was a lawyer now, rich and famous for his controversial cases and surprising wins. He'd been a good guy for a while but the celebrity lifestyle had changed him and within seven months Sara was looking at a stranger who was a negative influence for her daughter. Luckily Charlie had only been three at the time and would hopefully forget him.

It was five years after she left that she got the call which made her return. Charlie was due to start full time school soon but it was only June so Sara reasoned that it wouldn't be too traumatic to go back. At least, not for Charlie, for Sara it would be a make-or-break case.

AN: please comment.


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